While some expectant mothers do not mind whether they will have a son or a daughter, some (perhaps secretly or implicitly) have a gender preference. If you know the differences between girls and boys, you can build a great relationship regardless of gender. Here are some tips for you.
When you have a baby, the first question everyone asks is: “Is it a boy or a girl?” Gender often influences the choice of the colours of the nursery, your baby’s clothes, and the toys you start dreaming of buying – a doll for a girl, a car for a boy. All these choices, which not only you but so many of us make without realizing it, bring the following question to mind: Are children’s character traits innate or do they develop as a result of our influence? In other words, are they the result of nature or nurture?
Most experts agree that both factors play a role. Research has shown that nature and genetics play an important role. Already in the womb babies’ brains develop differently according to their gender. This has long-term effects. For instance, when growing up, boys will usually be good at physical activities, while girls often excel in writing and speaking. Strikingly, experiments have also shown that young male monkeys, when presented with toys, naturally choose moving objects like cars and helicopters, while the females tend to opt for dolls and plush toys. 1 There is no doubt that there are many physical and psychological differences between girls and boys from the moment they are born.
Nurture, or the upbringing within the family and society, is also crucial in character formation. We expect girls to be “good” and to adapt to the social environment better than boys, so we are often more tolerant toward boys being noisy, overactive, etc. At the same time, boys are told not to cry, while crying is tolerated more in girls. Experiments show that caregivers even push stereotypically gender-specific toys on kids, even when they prefer a different toy. Our own behaviour clearly influences gender behaviour in the long run.
Boys More Prone to Disease
From infancy, boys get sick considerably more and have a higher mortality rate than girls. Experts agree that the hormone testosterone plays a role in this.
Height and Weight
On average, boys are taller and weigh more than girls. Because of this, they are usually slower to sit up as a baby, but they learn to walk more quickly, thanks to their stronger legs. After the walking phase, however, researchers have observed similar gross motor development in boys and girls.
Social Behaviour
Girls are usually more social and talkative than boys. The differences in socialization are already present in the first weeks of life, as girls smile twice as much as boys. Of course, this difference may also be influenced by the behaviour of the caregivers, because we expect
girls to be sweet and may smile at them more. A study conducted in the United States also reveals that, from infancy, males react more strongly to their mother’s refusal, which girls tend to accept more easily.
Active Boys and Imaginative Girls
Boys tend to play more physical, active and rougher games. Girls, on the other hand, prefer imaginative role-playing games. While this tendency stems from nature, caregivers further stimulate this by buying dolls for girls and swords for boys. They tend to encourage boys to roughhouse, while telling girls to be careful, not to get dirty or hurt themselves. Finally, people praise boys for being tough and brave while they compliment girls for being cute and sweet.
Social Skills
As toddlers, girls often show more independence than boys, in terms of dressing, eating, toilet habits, etc. This is largely because caregivers are more protective of boys, while girls are expected to become independent and imitate their moms. In general, girls also fit in more easily into preschool. One reason might be their well-developed social skills, but researchers also conjecture that the nursery teachers, who are overwhelmingly female, create a female environment which makes it easier for girls to fit in.
Toy Choices
Research has shown that girls are generally comfortable playing with boys’ toys, while boys are often uncomfortable playing with girls’ toys. Experts assume this is because parents often object to boys playing with dolls and other “girly” toys.
Language Learning
Girls generally start speaking earlier than boys. This may be explained by the different brain development in the womb and the different socialization of girls. Fathers, for example, have been observed to talk twice as much to their daughters as to their sons.
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Wishing you well!
