The joy that comes from a chosen family, good friendships are something every parent and caregiver wishes for their child. You want them to experience the love and security that come from the people they choose to have around. How do toddlers start to make friends, and form the basis of their social circle? How can we lead them for the best? Growing up is a big journey and many questions come to mind when we are preparing our kids for the outside world. So, what do we do? Let’s find out!
Importance of Friendship at an Early Age
At around 1 or 2 years old, children start to play with the other children around them, slowly getting the taste of teamwork. Along with their cognitive skills, their social skill slowly starts to form and improve, steadily making your little one a part of society. Although it is important to know that all toddlers vary in how social they are, the introduction of playmates comes with many benefits to each little one. As they interact more, their self-control, language skills, and capacity for empathy will develop, which will lead them to a healthy social life, and many happy memories filled with joy and laughter.
It all starts with parallel play, independently playing alongside each other with very little interaction. After that, it evolves to playing with people around them, rather than choosing a best friend. Throughout age 2 and beyond, they start to notice and identify their peers and realise that others have feelings that are different from their own. With each little step, they grow and prepare themselves for the next step. Forming a community comes with many benefits, but what is our part as caregivers to prepare them for this big journey?
Preparing Children for Toddler Friendships
In the beginning, it is important to be aware that your toddler does not yet understand some friendship skills like sharing, taking turns and solving problems. These skills are learned, and they need to be taught in order for them to grasp the concept in the healthiest way and lead themselves with ease.
Talk with them about their emotions: In order for them to understand what they feel and what others feel about them they need to talk and learn how to label their emotions and express themselves. In possible moments, discussing with them their feelings both helps them understand themselves as individuals and makes them aware that the people around them have emotions too. As they communicate and learn, more complicated emotions like shame or embarrassment will start to present themselves as well. It is important to give these emotions special attention so they can learn how to deal with negative thoughts and lead themselves into a more positive worldview.
Role-play games: Acting out different situations with your kiddo is a great way of getting them used to interaction, and practicing friendship. With scenarios that initiate play or resolve problems, your children prepare themselves for teamwork, social settings and dealing with emotions and reactions.
Emphasise acts of kindness: A helpful, supportive, kind and empathetic individual paves their own way into a comfy life. As these are all vital characteristics that we desire to have in our friends, it is only normal that we lead our children in the same way, so that they can grasp what strong and healthy relationships look like. When you see them sharing, helping and comforting, praising them for their good actions helps them keep in mind that it is wonderful to be kind and receive kindness. On the other hand, when you see them doing the exact opposite, it is important to warn them without breaking any hearts and show them the better ways of leading friendships.
Tips for Better Playdates
Playdates are what start the journey of friendship, and like every stage of life, they need guidance to learn to play well and form strong bonds with their dear friends. What do we do as caregivers? Let’s find out.
- As they play, you can stay close to the children’s play so that you can help and guide them with sharing and taking turns, and regulating their emotions throughout this new and totally unique experience.
- They are new to learning how to share, which is a tough road, and they might not want their favourite toys in the hands of other children. Before playdates, you can ask your little one whether they have any specific toys they want to hide before their friends come over, so that play goes more smoothly. Or you can put your child’s favourite toys away yourself and help your child choose the toys and games they would be happy to share without any problems.
- In the beginning, you can set up games for them where they can play side by side and do not have to take turns for them to have an easier journey adjusting to other children. They have just started to learn how to share and it will take time and patience. Turn-taking games at the beginning can end in tears and tantrums, but playing next to each other before playing with each other helps them get used to each other and to the idea of socialising.
- Having many toys under their hands prevents them from competing for one thing, and helps them play in peace, with many options to widen their perspective and imagination.
- Keeping playdates short (around 45 minutes to an hour) helps you finish them before they go sour. Waiting till they get tired might lead things to go sour, discouraging them from wanting to do it again, while ending it when they are content will make them remember the playdate as something nice and will make them want to do it again.
- Stay within their eyesight so that they feel safe, and you can step in quickly if play is getting rough and they are getting overstimulated from having to interact with many concepts at once.
What to do When Playdates Go Wrong
Your little one can get frustrated quickly, and as they are new to expressing themselves, they might not have enough words to do so, which can lead to even more frustration, and they can get aggressive towards friends. When you sense that things are not going in the right way…
- You can distract the children by intervening and directing their focus to different stimuli, like another toy, book or song. When things are back on track, you can step away so that they can go on their own.
- If your child is getting aggressive, you can firmly tell them to stop and explain to them what you want them to do. This might help your child learn that being aggressive is not the right way to play and lead them down a calmer path.
- Children who are new to the concept of sharing might not understand that the toys they share won’t be taken home by another kid. Reassuring them that the toys are still theirs and will stay at home with them can be comforting and ease their minds.
Toys and plays play a huge role in forming friendships, and knowing more about them can help you lead your little one better into the world of social life. For everything about play and toys, see our Play & Toys Guide for a more comprehensive read.
